Growing up I was a victim of bullying. I am to this day.
I know what it’s like to cry myself to sleep at night feeling hate… hate towards myself.
I know what it feels like to be called names, to be picked on, to be teased, to be laughed at… to be the put down just so another could have pleasure.
I remember a time I was teased by a girl over my weight… she chose to tease me about not only that, but the fact that I was Mexican as well.
I remember being picked on in 5th grade… our neighborhood was rezoned so I was forced to attend a new school. But, I remember the kids laughing because I would wear black stretchy pants because finding jeans that fit was hard.
I remember a day when I was wearing a blue shirt… I remember being called a “whale” that day. The words were uttered by a member of my own family.
I remember hiding in high school because the taunting was too much. Literally, I would wait until the last second possible to leave the house so that I would spend as little time at that dreaded campus as possible.
But the worst part… the worst part is that even though I’ve been able to tell myself over and over and over again that I shouldn’t let it bother me… it still hurts.
It still makes me cry.
I should be stronger about it… but, I’m not.
I should be able to rise up against it and move past it… but, I can’t.
Somewhere I read that for every suicide, there were 100 suicide attempts. 100!! And that 160,000 kids a day stay home from school from fear of being bullied… I was one of those.
It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.
But seriously, somewhere along the line… kids and adults shouldn’t have to deal with being bullied.
Which leads me to this song… which has been playing over and over and over in my mind for the last week… because it hits home and it hits home HARD.