My grandpa’s recent cancer diagnosis has done nothing but weakened me in every way possible. I can’t sleep. I have no apatite. I won’t go out. I find a distraction for everything. And even with my new and AMAZING job, I just can’t get out of this funk.
I think a lot has to do with me missing a very special person. My grandma. My hero, who was taken from me in 2000 by lung cancer.
I just miss her. Immensely.
The beautiful woman I looked up to and dreamed to be just like… gone.
I can still smell her hair. I can hear her voice. I can feel her gentle touch.
And, it’s been almost 12 years.
I remember when she would stop my mom from taking me to cut my hair because she loved it. She’d always play with it, she’d always make sure I had the most beautiful hair. And, I remember when the cancer took her hair from her. I remember her crying. I remember her face the first time she had to put on a wig.
There’s so much that I can’t forget. So much I cling to.
Because I miss her. Deeply.
And I can’t stand the thought of cancer taking another one of my grandparents.
My heart aches. Tears fall. My mind runs circles.
I can’t stand it.