I felt at the top of the world on December 1st. I felt like I had everything in control. My feelings and emotions, my “money problems,” my relationship with God. Five days later, I feel like everything is crazy all over again!
I’m back to feeling like everything that could go wrong has. I feel lost and drained.
I try praying and I can’t find the strength. I try talking and I can’t find the words. I try distracting myself and I can’t find the motivation.
Having a bedroom that’s flooded because of a water leak has me irritated and angry. Mainly because everything I had saved up for Christmas and moving out has been lost to fixing the problem. And there’s still finding a way to get all the water out of my carpet before it starts to become a risk. I feel like my safe haven has been destroyed.
It’s making me lose my mind. It’s hard. That “give up” feeling is flooding my thoughts and it’s hard for me to focus on the positive with so much negativity surrounding me.
I talked to a close friend and she reminded me that sometimes, we just have to hit our low points so that God can lift us back up. So that He can give us the strength we need. And she reminded me that God won’t ever burden us with something we couldn’t handle.
Basically, she told me that it’s okay not to be okay. Because in the end, everything WILL be okay. Everything will turn out just fine.
It’s hard for me to see the silver lining of everything that’s been going on. It’s easier for me to break down and stop fighting. To give up and to give in to the negativity. But if I can get myself to remember that it is okay, that things will turn around, then I remember to be grateful for my problems because they do make me stronger and they make me who I am.
Linking up with Mama Kat today for her Writer’s Workshop. I chose prompt #5: Take a line from a song you love and turn it into the title of your next blog post. Let the content follow.
The song I chose is Who You Are by Jessie J.