For many, many years my life has revolved around my family. It has always been he, she, or they… and as the time passed, I was forgotten. I was put on the back burner. But the sad part is that I also put myself there. I let my family take over. I let them win. I chose them over myself.
Now, don’t get me wrong… I love my family. But I have to start making more time for me. I have to start focusing on me.
When I take a step back and dig deep, I can’t find myself. I don’t know who I am anymore.
Have you ever looked in a mirror and not recognized yourself? I have.
My sad eyes and frizzy hair. My itchy and dry skin. My paleness. They’re all signs… proof actually of how much I’ve let myself go.
Over the weekend I spent some time with myself. I let myself feel every movement and realized just how much I hurt. I noticed the aches in my elbows and the pain in my fingertips from excessive nail biting. I felt every knot in my shoulders. Every throb of my head. And I cried. I cried. And I cried. I didn’t stop myself because it needed to be done.
As I stood up from the floor, I could feel my breath and I appreciated it.
I could feel this sort of weight lifted because I finally allowed myself to let everything go.
I let myself be selfish… and it was amazing!
Why? Because I let myself be first.
“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” – Paolo Coehlo
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said no to myself. Too many, that’s for sure.
Because I’ve said yes to everything else, I’ve said no to me.
No to my physical health.
No to my mental health.
No to my appearance.
No to my hobbies.
No to my dreams.
No to my journey.
But no more!
It’s time to start saying yes to me.
Yes to losing weight and exercising and eating better.
Yes to meditation and yoga and bible studies.
Yes to face masks and haircuts and manicures.
Yes to new books and movie theater visits and road trips.
Yes to blogging and social media and my #BloggerBabesLife.
Yes to moving out and being more independent.
Yes to saying no!
Because I deserve to feel healthy. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to feel at ease. I deserve the chance to enjoy life and become who I want to be.
I need to replace the negativity in my life with positivity. To smile and not frown. To laugh and not cry.
I don’t want to hit 24 in May and regret my past. I don’t want to be angry at my family. I want to be at peace.
And I can do that simply by saying yes to me.